Memories of Tatsu
by Rein Petals
Summary: My second one shot! What happens to Tatsu? How does Tetsu handle it? Relationships die and grow simultaneously. Please read and review!


**Memories of Tatsu**

**Dedicated to my sisters**

Disclaimer: I do not own Peacemaker Kurogane

Days passed after the incident, and autumn had finally arrived. There outside beyond the deck, once stood a tall, wholesome tree, now bare, with no leaves, instead all piled below... dead and skeletal.

Still, Tetsu hadn't moved as he clenched to his tainted sword and trapped himself in the tight, stuffy closet. Away from all mourning, from all means of life, he hadn't smelt fresh air or been out in the sunlight for what seemed forever.

Dark. Alone. Sorrow. Those were the only words that went through his mind. He thought it was enough, he thought nothing worse could happen. He thought God had already stolen his most important people. But he was wrong. God had fooled him. First Father and Mother, but then Brother? Repeatedly, he questioned himself like a never ending metronome of thoughts that pounded through his mind, taunting him and leading him closer and closer towards insanity.

_**... What did I do to deserve this? Why am I alone again? Why is my life like this? Why am I the one to suffer? Why didn't I die along with Tetsu? Why is it like this?!**_

**_... I know! I'll just end my misery. Join them in heaven, then we could be a family again. Yes- yes, that's what I'll do._**

Forcing his eyes open, he fiercely grabbed for his short sword, then slowly allowed his dried eyes to shut. He leaned forward and lifted his blade, touching the tip to his stomach. He felt a sudden rush, the sudden urge, and allowed the sword plunged through the air.

_SWOOSH!_

Unexpectedly, the door slide wide open and the sword ripped from his grasp, flying across the room. Looking up, he stared blankly into the intruding brightness.

"...Give...me...my sword..." Tetsu muttered, "or...just leave me alone!"

_Smack!_

A man looked down with pained, sorrowful eyes, hitting square on Tetsu's cheek while leaving a bright, red mark. "Get a hold of yourself Tetsu... Everyone, everyone here is devastated... but you cannot cling on the past forever. What would Tatsu think?"

Tetsu screamed and shook his head violently. "AUGH! SHUT UP OKITA!! DO NOT DARE INSULT MY BROTHER!!" Irrationally, he jumped down from the shelf and rammed into Souji, tackling him to the floor. With such force from the wild child, they rolled several feet away, with Tetsu punching Souji in spitting anger.

Okita clenched his eyes shut, ready for the agonizing pain, until he noticed he was left completely untouched. Instead, the tatami beside him was shredded into wiry, bamboo strings. Suddenly, he felt hot streams of tears falling onto his face and a shrill, choking squeak from Tetsu.

_Am I crying? No... Tetsu-kun is... why, I'm so stupid._

Shaking his head in confusion, Souji looked up at the wretched boy, realizing that he would never stop mourning, nor would he ever be healed. It was far too late.

Petrified, Souji sat up unable to speak, as Tetsu flipped over trying to hold in his uncontrollable sobs. A gentle, chilly breeze entered the room while the two stared off silently into the distance.

Finally, Souji spoke with his regretful, gentle voice. "I-I'm so sorry Tetsu-kun. I don't know what I was thinking," Souji pleaded. "I didn't mean to say such rude words... please forgive me." Without hesitation, he wrapped his long, slender arms around Tetsu, making him cry again, yet harder.

Tetsu cried out hysterically, "It was so peaceful thfat day! Everything was perfect! Tatsu and I were shopping for Ayu-nee. Then, _BAM!_ It all happened so quickly..."

"Tetsu-kun, it's not you're fault," Souji interrupted.

"No Okita-san! It is my fault! Once again, I couldn't save the one person I love... I didn't have the strength to protect Tatsu! He had to protect me, but why did he have to protect me? Why, for once, couldn't I protect **_him_**, the one I love dearly?! And yet, all I did, was nothing!" He continued screaming in pain.

Tetsu grasped for Souji's comfort as he held tighter to the confused, lost teenager.

"Tetsu-kun, I-I'm sorry fate changed this way, and I know you will never feel differently. But live for the people that love you and need you. People depend on your comfort, and someday, you will find happiness once again. I know you will," Souji smiled weakly as he tried not to give into his own tears.

"But Okita-san! There's just no way that I can live without Tatsu! I don't understand anything... just why did those ronin kill him? For what reason did they have?! Money?! If so, they could've just asked with a simple threat!!"

He began weeping again, choking on his phlegm and attempting to wipe away his puddled tears.

"I miss onii-san so much. I just wish I could hear his voice, see his face, touch his hands. I wish I could cry on him like I always do," Tetsu paused and drooped his head down, "But, at the end of the day. I know that no matter what, Tatsu-nii isn't coming back. He's not here anymore. All he can do is wait for me. Just wait with Father and Mother... waiting..."

Souji stroked Tetsu's hair and lifted his chin. "Tetsu-kun, your brother was always a good man. A hero to us all."

Tears filled Tetsu's watery, red blotched eyes as he laid his head down on Souji's lap and wailed out in another deep, desperate scream.

After hours of calming down, Tetsu finally gathered his energy to just squeeze out a whisper.

"Th-thank you Okita-san."

* * *

A/N: This is dedicated to both of my sisters, even though I never plan on showing this to them. Ha-ha. They have always been my best friends and amazing sisters to me who are there for me when I'm suffering. I love them beyond life itself, and I can't even begin thinking how I would continue life without either one. Anyway, this is basically how I would imagine Tetsu acting if Tatsu died...

HAHAHA...

On a lighter note! I hope you enjoy such a depressing snap shot of Tetsu's "life" after Tatsu's death. (Which I know I didn't write much about Souji's expression...sorry Souji fans!) Lastly!! please review..

Thanks! Reiia


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